Reviving Table Manners

     How important are table manners?

messy at this age is cute, right?

     Well, unless you want your 12-year old or 17-year old to look like this...I guess manners are pretty important!! Start early at the dinner table at home...teaching manners normally, encouraging what you want to see and discouraging what won't be helpful in the future.

sometimes "extras" arrive at the table

     Kids need to learn how to use utensils properly, even if it's easier on you to let them do it their way. That interaction of passing food and using please and thank you all of the time is an important part of encouraging manners.

practicing out with others

     Each time you go out to dinner with the kids, practice, practice, practice! Kids should stay at the table the entire time, and because I'm sure you haven't chosen a fancy restaurant that will take longer than their little 'patiences' can handle, they can join the family in talking. Okay, you do have to make sure you bring your goodie bag, filled with age-appropriate distraction: Cheerios or Kix, raisins, coloring books, puzzles. I'm hoping beyond all hope, and probably not very realistically, that all electronics for both parents and kids are turned off and ignored during dinner. This should be a great family time, learning how to have fun and be polite in a restaurant.

indoors and outdoors

     Eating with the Torch Lake kids has been a constant event for our boys. All the kids learned manners appropriate for the occasion, inside manners, outside picnic...older ones were always encouraged to be good role models for the younger ones. Did it always work that way?? Of course not, but that was what we were trying for!

There is always a time for fun :)

the group

     Whether at a Christmas dinner or on a trail ride on vacation, we hoped the boys would remember their manners. Being polite to those who serve you is necessary. Can your kids order their meal themselves (after you have given them their choices)? If they learn to speak up and politely answer the server's questions, they will be far ahead of the majority of young ones. Do they say, "Thank you" when their order is placed in front of them? Do you? Remember that you are always the role model, one way or the other.

in Gulf Shores with the group

     Our Torch Lake Group has taken many vacations together which involves many meals eaten out. As the kids grew older they were able to be at their own kids' table as long as they were careful with their manners. They loved that idea so much that they usually controlled themselves...notice the usually?? They were our kids, and we have been known to be less than proper at dinner from so much laughing, so we could never be too upset with them. They were definitely chips off the old blocks!! But we were not ever rude to other customers or the staff and neither were the kids. Goofy is good, mean is not!

Kids' table this year

     We continue to enjoy each other's company every year. The kids are grown, but they still love having their kids' table.

   ......and here's to teaching and learning great manners!!

here's to us :)

   Manners inside the home translate to manners outside the home, and good manners leave wonderful impressions with those we know and those we don't know. Encourage the best in your children!!

Happy Parenting!

D and C

     

The Christmas "Gimmees"

   Here are some hints for a peaceful and grateful Christmas morning!


     At our house after the kids woke us up, we went directly past the Christmas tree (eyes hidden behind their hands) and headed for the Christmas stockings. That always kept the beginning hoopla of Christmas Day a little calmer with smaller treats including things like fruit, socks, a small Lego, a candy treat...all small, but with Mom and Dad reinforcing - "Wow! Santa knew you needed socks!" or "Sure, you can eat the apple if you want to." or "Want to put  the Lego together now or wait until later?"  AND take photos, it slows the kids down!
     When we went to the tree, we checked to see if Santa had left any unwrapped gifts for the kids  to see right away. Sometimes they were the ones that had to be put together the night before, but sometimes Santa wrapped those gifts so the kids could share in putting them together. We didn't want Santa to be too predictable!!
     We then began taking turns opening gifts one at a time with Mom or Dad always commenting positively on each gift. "Aunt Susie is always so thoughtful, isn't she?" after receiving a sweater, beautiful or not! Make sure your children "parrot" you and appreciate each gift  before moving on to the next child's turn. If there ever were a negative comment or a "yuck" attitude, we would put on our Game Faces and say something like, "Uh, oh...maybe Christmas is over if we can't all be nice..."  Very calm, just a little nudge in the right direction is usually all it takes to remind them of their manners.
     Santa does Not, and should not, give a child every gift he wants. Children can learn that Santa knows best when and where to have kids receive what they should have. Use your imagination to continue the joy! Remember, it's really not about the presents!!
     Thank you notes are important! Please make sure your kids, of all ages, follow through with appreciating all gifts. It helps if the family can sit down and write them together. Also, since kids are so anxious to write letters to Santa before Christmas, how about sending thank you letters to him after Christmas??

I know you've seen this pic before, but how about I say "Thank you, for my boys!!!!

Be thinking about the consequences of your actions on Christmas Day. Make is JOYFUL and GRATEFUL!


Happy Parenting!
D and C

Holiday Presents, Part 3

The past two blogs were all about the giving and then hiding of presents. Our Part 3 of Holiday Presents deals with receiving gifts!


It is important to start training your children early if you would like them to become gracious, thankful, and thoughtful receivers-of-gifts as adults.

     1. Make sure your children always say thank you when receiving anything.
     2. Teach your kids to have a kind, smiling face showing appreciation, even if they totally dislike the gift. 
     3. Give your child the gift of being able to appreciate whatever they receive, because of the person giving it and the thought behind it.
     4. One-at-a-time delight and appreciation of each individual gift is taught by your modeling whenever you receive gifts of  any kind. Be careful of what you say in front of your kids...they hear it all!! Please remember that your kids, from a very young age, watch and emulate your responses.

family is important

Show your children that each gift, whether from friends, family, or even Santa Claus, is special and deserves to be acknowledged in a positive, appreciative manner.

Help your children to learn the spirit of the season. Give joyfully to others, but also receive joyfully from others.

The companionship of friends and family should always be the best gift to give and receive. Have fun with each other :)

Use the season to teach your children the values you wish them to have! 

Happy Holidays and Happy Parenting!

D and C

Holiday Manners

Do your kids know about kindness and respect? How did they act at the Thanksgiving dinner table?

beautiful table, wonderful kids??

If your children sat at the table for the entire dinner, interacted politely with those around them, remembered to say Please and Thank You, and Smiled :) - Congratulations! You must have been doing something right for years!! If that did not look like your table - All of these things can be taught with you as the model. Practice now for a new look for the holiday tables:

     1. Have your kids stay at the table every night until everyone is done with dinner...it's only polite!!  And then, have them ask to be excused. No...really!! It works - the boys' grandfather is still impressed, 25 years later, that they said, "May we please be excused?" from a long ago holiday dinner.

with Gramma and Grandad Gallimore workin' on manners

     2. Kids need to practice talking to adults, being kind and respectful. Being able to talk to you on a daily basis shows how they will interact with others. Be kind in the family also.

   3. Please and Thank You are SOOOO important!! It is so easy to teach at home if you are constantly modeling what you want and never relaxing your expectations. Kids do what you show them they have to do! Always say please to them (not asking as if it's a request, but just being kind) and always expect a thank you in return. Always say thank you to them. If you hand your kids something keep your hand on it until they 'remember' to thank you. Eventually a look from you will remind them of their required manners. Please help your children to find their manners :)

Practicing manners with Gramma and Grampa Finkbeiner starts early!!

   4. Smiling can be taught!!! Try it...we told our kids that fake smiles were better than real frowns. Besides, your brain reads those smile muscles as happiness - it actually makes you feel better if you smile. HONEST!! Give it a shot!

Torch Lake kids being happy!!

If you concentrate on these few ideas for the next month, your future holiday dinners could be a breeze, and your children could learn valuable lessons for their future.

Good luck! Let me know how it goes:)

Happy Parenting!

D and C

  

The Holidays are Coming!

     The holidays are not about the table settings, delightful though they may be...

DC adding a touch of whimsey to the table!

nor about the food, as comforting and delicious as it is...

Chad and Scott with Thanksgiving turkey legs:)

The holidays are about those you love....

The Torch Lake adults

and the Torch Lake kids    

family and friends, both here and gone....

the group sends thanks to the veterans

Plan ahead to enjoy the holidays, beginning with Thanksgiving! Teach your children about the need for giving thanks, help them learn to honor the older people around them and those who have passed on, and practice those manners you've been thinking were lacking. Through your love and understanding, 

Bring joy to the table!!

Happy Parenting,

D and C