97 followers...oh,no!

     Hello all my blogger friends!! Over this coming weekend I will be moving to WordPress, and I'm freaking out!!! I just began this blogging adventure at the end of October so I still have quite a learning curve to work with. I am now moving so that all of our website info will coordinate with each other...our workshops, blog, events, sassy kids parties, etc....will all match and fit together.
But, because I am still pretty technologically illiterate, moving from what seems at least a little familiar to me to a totally new atmosphere is very hard!  I hope you will join me on this new adventure.

this is what I feel like right now!!

     I had just gotten to 97 followers on Google Friend Connect and now I believe I have to start over:(      So...I am hoping that you will join this new site and continue to follow our Childhood Myths blogs. I'm sure most of you remember how excited you were when you reached the 100 follower pinnacle....I was SOOO close. Please help so that I will be ready to plan a giveaway when I reach that peak!
      The new site is childhoodmyths.net for the home page...you can then follow from the blog site.  If you have questions for me or ideas that may help me please feel free to let me know by way of comment or email.
      For my FaceBook people, my new site will automatically share the blog with you...but it will not look the same and will not have the Sassy Kids name, but will have the Childhood Myths name instead. Hopefully, you will continue to visit and comment. You have no idea how much your comments mean to me...thank you so much!!
     If anyone from the blog or from FaceBook is interested in having us present a parent workshop...any size, from a few parents, to a classroom's parents, a school, community group, church group...or a teacher workshop of any size, please feel free to contact us. We will be happy to present ideas and tips to help make parenting and /teaching easier for any and all groups.
     Any hints you have for us about the blog and how to set it up to be helpful to you, just let us know;)


Happy Parenting!
D and C

Planning Family Vacations

     Are your family vacations hard or easy, calm or tense, filled with fun or filled with anxiety? I imagine most vacations have bits of all of that, but to increase the possibility of a great vacation, the whole family needs to know what to expect.

family camping

     If your kids have good manners, are kind to each other, and listen to what you say --- any kind of vacation can be a dream. But if you have troubles with any of those, family vacations can exaggerate the problems and drive you nuts!!!  During vacations, you are forced to spend a lot of time very much 'together', so you have to know how to enjoy each other's company.

     Road trips were the easiest and cheapest for us. We traveled during different week long summer trips to Colorado, Utah, Alabama, Canada, and many trips in Michigan.

     Our trips involved family interaction all day long. This was before electronic everything and movies on the TV in the backseat. After a few years of traveling, we did get a TV which showed only 3 channels and only while traveling through cities! So we depended on toys...I glued Velcro on the toys so the boys could stick them to the carpeted walls of the van...worked for a while:) We sang silly songs together and spotted the alphabet along the roadways. Of course we had sleeping and snacking when in the car. There were puzzles, coloring books, books to read, and always a "surprise bag" for each boy to be opened on a certain day of the trip.

     We usually didn't plan where we were going to spend the night, but we did have to plan stops along the way...you know, the potty break! We often stopped at rest areas for a picnic lunch and to let the boys run around, chase each other, and release some of that steam!!

     Remember, as a part of a family vacation, you should be open to stopping at some of those "tourist traps" that the kids want to see. It doesn't matter if you don't want to...it's not about you!! You might actually enjoy the Mystery Spot, The Dinosaur Store, Shell City, or Wall Drugs. We did!!  Agreeing to go to these kid places needs to be after they show good behavior, never after you've already said "No". So decide to say "Maybe" until after you can think about it. Once that 'no' comes out of your mouth--NOTHING should change it, especially whining, pouting, or crying...unless you want that behavior to continue every time you say "No":)

     This was just a start....ideas to help with family vacations...more to come in the future!

Happy Parenting!

D and C

Reviving Table Manners

     How important are table manners?

messy at this age is cute, right?

     Well, unless you want your 12-year old or 17-year old to look like this...I guess manners are pretty important!! Start early at the dinner table at home...teaching manners normally, encouraging what you want to see and discouraging what won't be helpful in the future.

sometimes "extras" arrive at the table

     Kids need to learn how to use utensils properly, even if it's easier on you to let them do it their way. That interaction of passing food and using please and thank you all of the time is an important part of encouraging manners.

practicing out with others

     Each time you go out to dinner with the kids, practice, practice, practice! Kids should stay at the table the entire time, and because I'm sure you haven't chosen a fancy restaurant that will take longer than their little 'patiences' can handle, they can join the family in talking. Okay, you do have to make sure you bring your goodie bag, filled with age-appropriate distraction: Cheerios or Kix, raisins, coloring books, puzzles. I'm hoping beyond all hope, and probably not very realistically, that all electronics for both parents and kids are turned off and ignored during dinner. This should be a great family time, learning how to have fun and be polite in a restaurant.

indoors and outdoors

     Eating with the Torch Lake kids has been a constant event for our boys. All the kids learned manners appropriate for the occasion, inside manners, outside picnic...older ones were always encouraged to be good role models for the younger ones. Did it always work that way?? Of course not, but that was what we were trying for!

There is always a time for fun :)

the group

     Whether at a Christmas dinner or on a trail ride on vacation, we hoped the boys would remember their manners. Being polite to those who serve you is necessary. Can your kids order their meal themselves (after you have given them their choices)? If they learn to speak up and politely answer the server's questions, they will be far ahead of the majority of young ones. Do they say, "Thank you" when their order is placed in front of them? Do you? Remember that you are always the role model, one way or the other.

in Gulf Shores with the group

     Our Torch Lake Group has taken many vacations together which involves many meals eaten out. As the kids grew older they were able to be at their own kids' table as long as they were careful with their manners. They loved that idea so much that they usually controlled themselves...notice the usually?? They were our kids, and we have been known to be less than proper at dinner from so much laughing, so we could never be too upset with them. They were definitely chips off the old blocks!! But we were not ever rude to other customers or the staff and neither were the kids. Goofy is good, mean is not!

Kids' table this year

     We continue to enjoy each other's company every year. The kids are grown, but they still love having their kids' table.

   ......and here's to teaching and learning great manners!!

here's to us :)

   Manners inside the home translate to manners outside the home, and good manners leave wonderful impressions with those we know and those we don't know. Encourage the best in your children!!

Happy Parenting!

D and C

     

Respectful Behavior

     Respect is the most important quality for people of all ages to have.

amazingly respectful to their mom :)

     If you, as a mom or dad or teacher, ignore bad behavior then you are encouraging further bad behavior. Kids are always pushing boundaries - that's their job!! Our job as adults is to make sure the boundaries that we want are solid. If you think that some minor misbehaving is normal, you're right! That is true. However, the reason it is called misbehaving is because it isn't behavior that you want to have continue. So it is necessary - every time - to correct and redirect...doesn't matter what the age of the child is. Kids will learn one of two things: either misbehaving is tolerated or misbehaving is not tolerated. Which do you think will help your children in the future?

     It becomes a matter of respect. Do your kids listen to you and follow your directions? They should!! When they choose to disobey you, they are being disrespectful. It is normal for them to test your limits, but it should also be normal for you to reinforce the behaviors you do want.

     As a teacher, I have often made "Gold Coins of Respect" to explain and give to kids at school.

Gold Coin of Respect

On one side of the coin is the word 'respect' surrounded by three words, 'people', 'property', and 'self'. If kids can learn what it means -specifically - to respect other people, property, and themselves, then the idea of respect as a whole can be reinforced. I believe self-esteem comes from a healthy respect for 'self', not from other people patting them on the back for everything they do.

back side

The back side of the coin has three words from The Declaration of Independence: life, liberty, happiness. I tell the kids about the guarantee of life and liberty, but not a guarantee of happiness. We are only guaranteed the right to pursue happiness.

     The Gold Coin of Respect is just a symbol to remind kids of how to treat others, how to behave, and how to go after their own happiness.

"It is one of the most beautiful compensations in life...that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself."

                                         Ralph Waldo Emerson

Can you teach your children to respect themselves, to respect others, and to respect the boundaries you set for them?

Happy Parenting!

D and C

Reading with Kids

     How important is reading in a family?  Reading is an obvious help to kids intellectually, but it is also a great bonding opportunity. From the time you read to and with little ones right through the time you encourage their reading beyond high school, both of you benefit:)
     Babies: in and out of the womb, while cuddling, helping to recognize people, places, and animals, hearing rhythm and rhyme.

board books

Gyo Fujikawa...beautiful books for baby and beyond!

     Toddlers: great learning time. They suck up knowledge!! Repeat stories often, shapes, colors, numbers - and best of all, more time spent with you:)

another of Gyo's books

beautiful, inside and out

     Young ones (5-8ish): love humor and science - encourage both. Read stories about life skills: honesty, responsibility.

Berenstain Bears teach lots of values

read Mrs. Piggle Wiggle books out loud to your kids:)

     Kids older than about 9 tend to veer away from reading or read like crazy. This is also when many parents discontinue reading to their kids before bed since the kids can read on their own, but if you find interesting books a little above their reading level you can continue to read a chapter a  night of great books to them and enjoy that "us" time so important at that age. Many kids heard the Harry Potter books before reading them themselves.

Harry Potter can lead to Stephen King later in life

     Every night at our house, I would read 1 or 2 books to the boys. They had decided when they were young that they wanted to stay in the same bedroom, so they were in their own beds with me on the floor between them reading. After books, Daddy would tell a made-up Hiawatha story, such as How the Skunk got its Stripe. The boys loved them! More great memories!

     Now, for a moment of truth: neither boy enjoyed reading in high school or college!! Yikes, how did that happen?? But once they were out on their own I would share books that I loved. I convinced them to read Dan Brown's The Da Vinci Code which led them to appreciate reading again. I suggested a few more that they liked and now they do read much more often. Scott likes nonfiction best, while Chad enjoys Stephen King and that genre.

a favorite before it became a bestseller

     I'm glad they have found a joy of reading, but even if they hadn't...I would have loved every minute of the time we spent with them reading together, telling stories, and enjoying our time together as a family!!

An all-time favorite Richard Scarry book, along with
Cars and Trucks and Things That Go!!

Enjoy your reading time:)

Happy Parenting!

D and C

Homework Blues?

     This is the time of year when report cards often come home giving parents lots of information on both academic progress and the behavior and work ethic of their children.
     We'll talk more in the future about the behavior portion of the card, but for now let's focus on grades and work ethic. What can you find out about your children from these cards?? What age levels are we talking about...actually, all of them in one way or another!

reading should always be an option when there is no homework
no matter what the age of the children

     Preschoolers' report cards: Look for comments on how they socialize with others, how well they listen, and how well they follow directions. You can help at home in all those areas. Watch how they interact with people and increase play group times if necessary. Make sure you follow through with consequences if the kids have a hard time listening to your directions the first time you give them or if they can't seem to complete tasks you give them. The more you encourage them now, the easier their school years will be in the future.

     Elementary kids' report cards: As the kids go through their elementary years keep a close eye on continuing trends over time--a hard time with math success or difficulty completing or turning in homework. Find consequences early on that help them to improve. Find specific places for homework to be done--PLEASE NOT in a bedroom filled with computers, TVs, video games, and phones. No matter how much they say they are working (and no matter how much you want to believe them) they will become distracted or disinterested. Elementary kids need constant oversight (every few minutes, not every half hour) to stay on task and to then feel the achievement of completing their homework successfully and in a minimum amount of time.

     High School kids' report cards: If high schoolers have learned that important work ethic when they were younger, you can loosen the reins a bit as long as their report cards show what you them to. Continue to look for sudden changes in work or behavior which should result in a tightening of those reins, back to more structure and oversight.

which leads to high school graduation

Chad was working in CO during his college graduation ceremony

another high school graduation

Scott's graduation from MSU

     There are many years of hard work and practice from preschool right through college for the kids, and lots of years of encouragement, boundaries, and discipline for the parents. But the rewards for both children and parents are huge in seeing those little guys become responsible, successful, independent young adults.

     More homework tips soon. Do you have any special questions or concerns you'd like us to deal with?? Send them along!

Happy Parenting!

D and C

Intentions

     Learning from a spot of whimsy about writing a letter of intention has really pumped me up for 2011. I have never been one to make resolutions or even set goals. It's too easy to "fail" and then feel guilty...doesn't fit in with my idea of being positive and sending out positive energy to others. But writing a "letter of intentions" is simply listing the things you intend to do this year - clean closets, finish writing a book, donate blood, start a family game night - whatever you'd like to accomplish. Check the list 3 or 4 times a year to see how you're doing. The list can then continue from year to year if you wish. It's so much more positive in feel and therefor more lighthearted and easy-going.  I actually already donated blood this year...the first time in over twenty-five years!! It felt good!
     Do you intend to have fun with your kids, both indoors and out??
Bundle up and spend time together.

ready to go out with Daddy

a very rare treat, SLOW sledding behind the bike

     Find something different to do indoors.

taking a break from skating in the basement

painting at the kitchen table

     Can you instill manners and good behavior, but still let loose and laugh with each other? You should be able to work toward that "intention"! Give it a try!!

hanging spoons at the dinner table! both boys in their appropriate college shirts!

Have Fun!

Happy Parenting!

D and C

Winter Fun

     The past few Sassy Kids blogs have been about chores, scheduling, and checklists, so today let's have some FUN!!

winter is fun

     Winter gives all of us a chance to get outside and have some fun with our kids. From the time children are very young, they have a fascination with snow-watching it, tasting it, and playing in it. So: put down that laundry and that dusting cloth, step away from the computer and your emails, and involve yourself in some great family memories.

     Little ones love making snow angels, and they love it even more if their parents get down in the snow with them to show them how to make "big" angels :)

snow angels got smushed!

     As your children get older, show them how to ice skate or just slide on the ice in their boots--always keeping safety in mind. The whole point here is doing things with your kids.

first time for Scott with skates

     Have the family make snowmen together. Talk about how they should look and what to add to them. Making forts is always a winner, too! Remember to take photos!

same winter.....different snowmen!

     Taking the family on a nature hike in the winter is something the kids can really get into. They love finding animal tracks, watching for their homes, hearing the quiet sounds of nature, and interacting outside as a family.

getting ready for a hike

     Back home in your front yard, make a "duck, duck, goose" track in the snow. Your family can play the game with or without extra people!

     You will never regret the extra time you spend with your children-at every age level. All of it is precious. Enjoy it all!!

skiing with Dad

Happy Parenting!

D and C

More Chores

     There will always be chores to do, whether we like it or not!!?!

So helping those little ones learn to "just do it" is such a gift to them. None of us wants to do chores; but we can choose to be miserable about it, procrastinate, be stressed and feel guilty - OR - we can find a method that works for us to make doing chores tolerable. Find that method for yourself, and then try lots of methods out on your kids. Remember that all kids are different - musically inclined, athletically inclined, dramatically inclined - whatever turns them on: USE IT!

building storage shelves

     Through the Quantum Learning program that Chad and I attended, we learned about 1-song breaks. I used this method in my classroom often:) When kids are involved in their work, leave them alone; but if you notice them becoming antsy, having wandering eyes, losing concentration - use the 1-song break. You, as the adult, pick a peppy CD without showing the kids. Have them pick a number from 1-14(the number of tracks on the CD). Then play that track. For the entire song, the kids and the adult must dance or march around the room to the music, no running, no talking, no touching. The first few times you do this, you really have to tease and encourage them into it. After that, they love it! When the song is almost done, slowly lower the volume until it is silent. The kids then go directly back to work. It's amazing how much their concentration on the task improves. Try this in a classroom or in your home!!

working on the car

     Try different methods - stop and shoot baskets, draw, read, dress up, whatever your children love to do: 20 minutes of work, 10 minutes of play. SET THE TIMER!

getting that wallpaper off

     If your children ask to help with something you're doing: Let them!! Whatever it is they want to do gives you the opportunity to teach them new skills and spend time together:)  Who cares if the dusting isn't done to your standards? If you can keep quiet about that, you will have helped to build your children's confidence in themselves.

doing chores when young

still doing chores when older

     When your kids have been doing chores as a normal part of their day from the time they were little, they naturally continue expecting to do them as they get older. Let them feel the achievement and accomplishment of completing tasks.

Happy Parenting!

D and C

Checklist: Chores

     There are many different types of chores, all very important. Here are a few:
     1. Type 1 is the everyday chore: the one you want your kids to do everyday - duh, sorry, that's pretty obvious, isn't it? Anyway...brushing teeth, making bed, feeding dog, clearing the table, or whatever you want the kids to do based on age and developmental abilities...all become everyday chores. Do you have a chore chart??

from Current, Inc. 

Charts can be very helpful in encouraging kids to want to do their jobs. Use old-fashioned stickers or markers or make up a check-off program on the computer to keep track of success.  Then use a small treat as an incentive at the end of the week if all chores are completed...the dollar stores are helpful in choosing!

     2. Type 2 chore is the now-and-then chore:

the overflowing basement toy box

When the toy box is overflowing, the bedroom is a mess, the bookcase is empty because the books are all over the floor, or any other area that is "theirs" needs work.......Have the kids set a timer for 20 minutes at a time. Say, "Let's work hard for 20 minutes, then you can do something fun for 10 minutes." Make sure that you work with them to keep them going. As they get older you can leave them alone to work for longer periods of time but not unless they have copied your work ethic for quite a while. The 20 minute intervals continue until the job is done, or until you're worn out.

is the job done yet???

     3. The Type 3 chore is one where the kids help the family do household jobs. These jobs encourage being a part of a productive family and give children a sense of accomplishment, confidence, and pride.

helping clean out the fireplace

     4. The Type 4 chore is kids helping with an adult project. They can help Dad build a trailer or help Mom organize photos - anything that gives them an opportunity to see the work that the family members do and to learn how that work ethic works. It also gets them out of that couch potato rut. The younger you put them to work with you, the better. As they get older, whether they like it or not, they'll consider helping to be a normal part of the family routine.

helping with a garage project

     5. The Type 5 chore involves learning skills they can use in the future: changing a bicycle tire, baking cookies, raking leaves, folding laundry. If they will use the skill in the future, then they should begin learning it early as a part of a loving family experience.

fixing a flat tire

     Try to keep the idea of doing chores as pleasant a task as possible...I know, that sounds ridiculous, right? But...turn on the music, laugh with each other, lighten up!!! It doesn't have to be drudgery. Remember, you are the role model. If you're a grouchy worker, they will be too!!! Be happy, be positive!

     More on chores soon...

Happy Parenting,

D and C