Thursday, March 24, 2011

Are You Ready for the Follow-Through?

     Everyone knows how important follow-through is for tennis, golf, baseball, and bowling, right?  Well, what about the follow-through for parenting?  Do you follow through with consequences? How about promises?  Does your "No" always mean "No"?
     Your children, as they grow older, will find it easier to believe you and to trust you if you have been one who follows through in your relationship with them. I know that it's so very hard not to cave in when you see a quivering lip or a big, fat tear...or when they're bugging you to pieces with "Why not, Mommy?"....or when the darlings are throwing that proverbial tantrum in the grocery store!  BUT - stop to think what will be most helpful to them for their futures - then harden your resolve, stick to your guns, and follow through with whatever you said!
someone! wants to go back in the pool :)
     Your excuses:  I get to change my mind if I want to...It's not that big a thing...They'll hate me!  Using excuses like these makes the parenting all about you, but the idea of parenting is to PARENT in ways that lead to responsible, independent, productive young people. Your children will appreciate the boundaries you give them when they are older and those boundaries finally make sense to them (honest); but, in the meantime, you need to be their guide and protector and teach them that you mean each and every thing you say to them.
Are you sure this guy's safe??
     Setting and keeping boundaries doesn't have to feel stern and angry, but it does need to feel definite. When kids know what to expect and know when you're being serious, it lets them feel secure and  happier in your everyday family relationships.
happy and secure guys!!
     Can you stand up and be the parent, not the buddy?  I hope so! Let me know if you have a question or concern I might be able to help answer. Leave a comment or email me...I'd love to help:)


Happy Parenting!
D and C

2 comments:

  1. I feel like being a teacher before I was a mom was the best thing for my displine. My first year teaching my classroom mgmt wasn't the best because I wasn't consistant. I learned my lesson the second year and was much better. This translated to my home when I had children. Now that I have 3 kids, I struggle with displine since a timeout doesn't work on my middle daughter. She loves being in timout, while the other two hate it and it is a good tool. How can I explain to my oldest why her sister doesn't get a timeout?

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  2. Twingle: I'd say keep up the timeout for your middle daughter whether it seems like she likes it or not....it's the taking her out of the situation and making her think that's important. Even if she acts like she likes it, she won't always and it is being consistent about discipline. It's also important for the other 2 to see that you say what you mean and follow through is always carried out. Hope that might help:)

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